Jealousy in love: how to overcome it?

Your boyfriend or spouse is smiling at another person, talking to his/her best friend on the phone or just hanging out with his/her friends, your heart sinks and you imagine the worst scenarios? Well no doubt, it's jealousy that points the tip of his nose. Sometimes it can be (very) sickly and can destroy a couple. And we don't like that. So we are going to give you some tips to get rid of it. Because yes, it is clear, it is not the best companion in a couple.

Learn to love yourself & gain self-confidence

Jealousy is a complex feeling, which can sometimes be difficult to manage. This emotion is sometimes the reflection of a lack of self-confidence, a fear of abandonment or even emotional dependence - a bad experience for some. If you give yourself very few values, you will always live in fear of losing the person you love. So the idea is to remove all those fears and replace them with love.

First step, we advise you to identify the things you like about yourself, for example your humor. The worst way to make that feeling of insecurity worse is to persist in not seeing those positive parts. Rather, make it your strength.

Second step, make a list of 20 main qualities. Yes 20. We are even sure that you have many more. Write them down on Post-its and stick them on your fridge or mirror. Every time your eyes fall on it or you feel bad, read it and remind yourself that you are the best version of yourself.

Step three, deconstruct any bad beliefs you have about yourself. For example, the sentences " I'm ugly. I'm not interesting", rephrase them from another angle. "If I believed that I was intelligent, how would I act? ".

Accepting to be jealous.se

Yes, to stop being jealous.se you have to admit and accept that you are jealous and that above all it is not - necessarily - your partner's fault. But don't worry, jealousy is not a pathology. "What can become so is the inability to manage it, leading to violent behavior for example," explains Alexandre Thalmann, psychologist, in the column of the Journal des Femmes.

This acceptance is necessary to help you put into words what generates these emotions. And it is above all, a big step to get rid of it.

Make a clean sweep of the past

Sometimes jealousy can arise in a couple when one of the partners has been cheated on or cheated on in the past. In this case, the doubts are even greater, because you tell yourself that they could betray you again. But this is not (necessarily) the case. It is therefore essential to erase the past and live your relationship in the present. However, if your jealousy persists, we recommend that you consult professionals.

Talk about it with your partner

Yes, you are harped on again and again with communication. But it is necessary and no one has told us that it does not work, quite the contrary. Talk to your spouse about your feelings and emotions - if you want to save your marriage. Explain to him why you feel this way and he may be able to help you to have more confidence in yourself and find solutions.

What place does jealousy have in our relationship? Come and discuss it on our forums.